快活影院

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There are various beds available to Patch and yet he chooses to sit in a spot entirely too small for his bigness. He wedges himself into a narrow rectangular gap, against the sides of which his heft pushes and over the top of which his excess folds. I can’t imagine that he is comfortable but his half-shut eyes tell a different story and his contented purrs speak to the contrary. He looks like a loaf expanding within a tin. He really does. But then, what sort of recipe would produce such a bread-like cat?

Method:

Mix two heaped handfuls of finely sieved sweetness, a teaspoon or two of kindness and a dash of tenderness in a large bowl. Make a well and into it pour a flow of adoration. Empty it onto a floured surface and mix thoroughly, with feeling. Press your fingertips into the resultant dough, kneading it gently until it purrs. Press them in, pull them out; pinch the form of two ears, a nose, four limbs and a tail. Let it prove, let it dream, let it rise and billow slowly outwards. Trace your finger along the top of it and place it where the sun’s warmth spreads like splayed hands - and wait. When love begins to purl like steam from its surface then you know it’s ready. Patch is ready. 

Patch, you see, is an exemplary example of cat-kind. An archetype against which other cats might be judged - “Yes, they’re nice, but are they as nice as Patch?”, “Yes, they’re handsome, but are they as handsome as Patch?” - he is sweet and affectionate, kindly and gentle, slow and steady and easily beloved. He’s no longer the kitten he once was; no longer does he leap with such reckless abandon or pounce with such fervour, he’s ploddier and more sedate now. His pace is one-note, adagio not vivace, and if that’s what you’re looking for from a cat, then Patch is well worth a second glance. 


Written by Richard Grainger | Animal Care Assistant